proof christians are so fucked up

any sick bastard religion that worships candy should check themselves before they wreck themselves.

copenhagen

nobody asked me, but i think that the climate crisis will turn out, in retrospect, to have been an important period of growth for us all. sure, the talks were stymied by a soul coughing of poor nations demanding reparations for the sins of their imperial fathers. certainly, any kind of agreement will, at the end of the day, have about as many teeth as the kyoto protocol. obviously, a guy wearing a polar bear suit, and weeping on television, is an insult to all of our intelligences.

the important thing is we were all there. what matters is that the world community, once again, came together and had a temper tantrum. fuck those stupid white carnivores. if i can't eat a properly slaughtered chicken, i hope they do drown in the frigid waters of the arctic circle. or, what's left of it. up yours, Knut!

indie comedy jihad

THE ENEMY:

We will no longer tolerate indie comedies. A comedy is either funny, or not funny. Being indie does not make an unfunny movie suddenly funny. We're not joking around here. Dare to be funny, if you fail, we will laugh at you. If you paint your failure as indie, we will hate you. The choice is yours.

Gil's Live Fried Fish Shack (disturbing video)

I want to live in a world where the fish are dead on my plate. If they fail to be dead, please return them to the kitchen and try again. Thank you for your cooperation.

(frightening video below. do not watch if you are at all squeamish.)

Congratulate God for Sarah Palin

Congratulations and thanks to Sarah Palin, for congratulating and thanking God for the publication of her book, Going Rogue. Keep the faith.

you're being watched

The walls have ears, and the menus have eyes.

religion

the imam derek asked, if a tweet falls in the woods and no one is near to hear it, does it make a sound?

his student replied, if an imam tweets can he claim to be righteous?

the imam answered, see me after class.